Okay glad that's out of the way so we can catch up! Here's what's been going on in the Beswick household. I will begin with the biggest thing that's happened this year:
We're pregnant!
Yup it's been so long since I've posted that there has only been a very brief mention of this blessed event back in the post from August. I'm currently 34 weeks along with our little man and eagerly awaiting his arrival next month. This pregnancy has been easier in some ways than Amelia's but much harder in many other ways.
- I wasn't sick for as long this time around (Praise the Lord!) but going through my first trimester while Benjamin was in the midst of a super busy summer was not a bed of roses. Between his schedule and a very active 2 year old I can honestly say I learned the art(?) of puking on the go.
- oh the fatigue. See mention of active two year old above. I know I'm not the first mom to be pregnant and have a 2 year old at home and for those who have that (or more) my hats off to you and I think we all deserve a nice long nap! I honestly cannot think of a time when I've been this tired for this long.
- the most active little (actually huge) boy that is constantly rolling around and jabbing about has my midsection in a constant state of movement that entertains Ben and Amelia to no end. It is amazing and reassuring to have him moving around but there are times (like now...at 4am) that I wish he'd literally 'slow his roll'
- and last but not least. The terrible, ever-present, all-consuming heartburn. Honestly I'm surprised I have the ability to speak. If his constant movement isn't reminder enough of what's going on in my body, the terrible burning is. Seriously. SO. BAD.
Okay all the complaints aside, I am so very excited for this baby boy. After our loss last year, I've had a lot of fear and stress when thinking about getting pregnant again and it took almost a year for me to even consider it. We had a lot of discussion on whether we would be an one child family. We spent a long time in prayer and discussion on this topic and sought advice from people we love and trust. In the end we decided we would try for a certain length of time but after that time had passed, we would move on with our little family, happy and content with what God has given us. Two months later we found out we were pregnant and were completely surprised, shocked, and yes, fearful. We told family and some friends right away but waited until I was 11 weeks to fill everyone else in. Having the support and prayers of others really helped get us through that first trimester.
Due to Benjamin's busy summer he actually missed out on our first ultrasound but I had a very sweet friend go with me as my support. I was so nervous to get bad news yet again and completely overwhelmingly happy to see that little flicker on the screen. God is so good.
We've had a few scares this pregnancy that have only deepened our faith and confidence in the goodness of our Lord. A Pre-term labor scare resulted in tests and restrictions at 24-25 weeks and caused a missed trip to see family and some pretty stressful moments. Those weeks caused me to have to slow down and focus on what is important and what I needed to let slide and to relax. Or as my doctor told me "to just chill out!" Thankfully things calmed down and Smalls stayed put!
We then found out at our 28 week ultrasound that not only is he measuring very large (95%) but there was concern with an issue with his bowels that can be a marker for Cystic Fibrosis. When our Doctor walked in the room and began to tell us all of this and what our next steps would be, I honestly felt like the floor had fallen out and all I could hear was the teacher from Charlie Brown "wha wha wha...cystic fibrosis...wha wha wha ...testing... Wha wha wha...7-10 business days for the results..."
We walked out of that appointment shell-shocked and struggling to know what to think and how to feel. We decided that we were not going to let many people know until we knew the results. I didn't think I could handle the questions or even talking about it. It just made it seem more real the more people we told and I couldn't handle it being real. The next two weeks were the longest weeks of my life. Every morning I would wake up and think to myself "today our lives could change forever with one phone call". It was agonizing to wait. 12 days later I finally got the phone call and was so relieved to hear the results were negative. I was so emotionally drained by that point I burst into tears before I called Ben at work so when he answered my call and heard me bawling he assumed the worst. It took a few seconds to convey to him they were happy tears and for him to breathe a sigh of relief. Those (almost) two weeks of waiting were so hard and yet so good at pointing us to the Lord. It was (and is) the only place to go to find peace and comfort during a time like that. I honestly don't know how we would've gotten through that time without our faith and the anchor of God's goodness and faithfulness.
We are now just waiting for our son to make his appearance (and dodging all the questions about his name) and absolutely cannot wait to meet our little man next month!
Wow, long post. Okay so that just catches you up to now as far as our family growing in size. There has been so much more that happened, but for the sake of time invested in reading this post, I'll save it all for another day (hopefully soon). For those of you who made it to the end, hoping you and yours had a wonderful holiday season and a Happy New Year!
